Candy Fanatic

Chocolate. Yum. Caramel. Yum. Put them together. Yum! Gooey and delicious. I can’t think of a better afternoon treat.

This Christmas Beautiful Girlfriend got something cool in her stocking. My father or some other elfish person slipped a box of truffles in there. Unfortunately BG does not eat sugary treats, so this may work out in my favor if I play my cards right. Maybe I can trade her my Ernie Kovacs DVDs for the truffles. After I watch them, of course.

What goodies did you get this year?

I went to Target on my lunch break today and saw that Ritter Sport was on sale. Should I get some? Who wouldn’t want this? I also bought a birthday card and a box of wine, but I think the thing that takes the cake is this chocolate. Go out to Target and get some of this stuff!

Thank you, Virgin America, for including a little chocolate square in Beautiful Girlfriend’s in-flight meal. Of course she gave it to me. That’s just how sweet she is. I am a lucky guy.

Earlier the post-Halloween candy bowl at work was brimming with goodies. Now it’s just the Tootsie Rolls that are left. It makes me wonder whether candy companies do market research by seeing what people eat and leave alone in offices.

Choxie is Target’s brand of chocolate. Get it? Chox? Choc? Oh – you already got it.

Honestly, I don’t care for the name. It’s too darned cutesy for me. All the same, it’s chocolate, so I figured it was worth trying.

Choxie Milk Chocolate Bar

• Overall taste:  Rich and sweet but not overly so. A certain floral aftertaste, not at all harsh or bitter, like some chocolates. Score: 4
• Snap: Semi-soft, so there was a definite snap and the chocolate cleaved with minimal effort when biting. Score: 4
• Mouthfeel: Smooth. Very smooth, like melted silk, if that were possible. At the very end of the melting,though, there was a slight grittiness. Had I not been looking for it I would have passed it up entirely. Score: 4
• Sweetness: enough sweetness to carry the rich cocoa flavor but not enough that it was overpowering. This was a good balance. Score: 5
• Size: Three ounces. Score: 4
• Portioning: Eight squares. That was enough to feel like I got a good-sized portion but not so much that I felt like I was choking on it. Realistically, half a square at a time is a good size, but the size of the square makes it feel like eating the other half is indulging in leftovers. Score: 5
• Packaging: Plastic wrapper. Hard to open, impossible to close. I guess I have to eat it all right now. Score: 2

Overall Score: 4

Choxie Dark Chocolate Espresso Chocolate Bar

• Overall taste: A definite coffee bean flavor. Yes, it tastes like it was made with the bean, not the liquid coffee. There’s a huge difference. This is awesome. A slightly bitter taste, again form the coffee, and that is consistent from first taste to aftertaste. It is pleasing, set off slightly by the sweetness. Score: 4
• Snap: Not much snap, but a definite cleaving. Score: 3
• Mouthfeel: Mostly smooth, but with a definite grit that made me assume the beans had been ground. That is a nice effect. Score: 4
• Sweetness: I don’t expect much sweetness in dark chocolate. This has an amount of sweetness that almost works well with the coffee flavor but would be overkill without the coffee. It’s just a little too sweet for me as is. The richness of the chocolate and coffee is lost a bit with the sweetness. Score: 3
• Size: Three Ounces. Score: 4
• Portioning: Eight squares. score: 5
• Packaging: same as before, sub-optimal. Score: 2

Overall Score: 3.57

The Final Analysis: I would buy the milk chocolate again, although for the price I can get something else just as good. Target failed in the price department in these bars. I want a store brand to be cheaper than the others. These were priced comparably to the name-brand equivalents. To be fair, they were also comparable in quality. The dark chocolate espresso I would not buy again, but I would definitely not throw out the rest of the bar!

My friend Bill has a candy drawer at his desk. This is the same Bill who gave me a mess of Slim Jims when I first started this job. He used to be the meat guy and now he is the candy guy. I would say it is a lateral move, although a very positive one.

I was out hiking with Beautiful Girlfriend a couple weeks ago out in western Virginia, not to be confused with West Virginia, or more correctly pronounced, West By God Virginia, and saw that we were close to Holy Cross Abbey, a Catholic monastery where the brothers are known for making some darn fine fruitcake. Another thing they produce there are what they call Fraters, which are slices of fruitcake covered in dark chocolate. These were great. Even BG, who claims to hate fruitcake, devoured half a piece.

The good news is more than just the gospel here, though. You can buy fruitcakes, Fraters, chocolate truffles and other things on the Abbey’s online store. Do it now before Frater season ends for the hot months.